The news is out; Marketing companies everywhere have now agreed that mobile phones are here to stay.

The announcement, made after the preliminary meetings which started in 1998, was released in a leaked memo a full year before it was due.

A member of the sub committe charged with 'Awareness for giraffe and other long necked animals' commented "It's a shame the news had to be broken like this, ewspecially as we all had grants for another year."